The Two and a half Americas

I recently went to the other side of the mountains here in Washington state. For those of you not familiar, Western Washington, where I live, near Seattle, is greener, more populated and has the mountains. Going east over the mountains means you enter into what most people think of when they think of Western U.S., lots of tumble weeds, farms, ranches, rugged terrain, etc. Anyway, my wife and I had to pick up our hopefully pregnant golden-doodle in the upper north-eastern part of the state. The breeder lives on a small dog and horse ranch, that she bought at $2,000 an acre. She lives with 25 dogs, over 20 horses, some ferrets, and 6 internationally adopted kids, who are wonderfully helping her run the ranch. It was really a reminder to me that she lived in a very different world, with very different needs, than where I lived in the suburbs of Seattle. For one thing, she talked about having certain dogs to protect the humans and the horses from bears and cougars. The 5 hour drive through beautiful, winding, mountain roads, reminded me of my youth, growing up in the wilderness of NY, and how the needs of the rural population in the U.S. is very different from those in and near the city.

Ben Franklin grew up in the city of Boston, which was the largest city in America at the time, but was only about 7,000 people at his birth in 1706. When he decided to strike out on his own, by running away from his indenture ship under his brother, he chose to go to NY and then Philadelphia, rather than striking out into the wilderness to acquire the plentiful lands that were available in America. He was a city/town kid. I grew up in the country, less than 500 people in my little community over a 5 mile stretch of road, and as an adult have lived mostly in metropolitan areas, and there is a definite difference in the two areas. In the rural areas, you are,and want to be, more on your own. You don't want anyone bugging you, especially not government. However, the more populated areas need and want things like police and traffic lights. So, it makes sense that as Philadelphia grew, Franklin started creating things like fire depts., and police depts., and militias. Things need to be more organized and more institutionalized, with more people involved.

We've always had two Americas with 2 kinds of people, and 2 kinds of needs, that the 2 political parties have always tried to manipulate for their gain. In recent times, the Democrats have catered to the larger metropolitan areas by advocaqting government programs that support roads, dealing with the homeless, police, and taking care that people don't over-run their environment. In the rural areas, there isn't as much need for institutionalized structures because there aren't as many competing needs from different kinds of people. Their is a greater need for self-protection because their is no one else to protect one from animals and the occasional intruder. There is a greater church attendance per capita because they provide a chance for community, which is more needed in remote areas, and a belief in God gives them a greater sense of control over Nature. As I think about it, though, there is the third entity that was not relavent until about 60 years ago, and that is the suburb, which is kind of a mixture of the two in terms of its needs. They have the need for infrastructure, but they do not want to pay for it at the level that the city needs it. Hence, they do not want to pay high taxes, especially because they own more land, houses, and general stuff than city dwellers. Ultimately, the need for keeping their money often overrides their need for things like schools and roads, as I've experienced here in Washington. As a result, the Republicans cater to an almost contradictory 2 groups of suburbanites and country folk by emphasizing low taxes, small government, and available guns,(suburbanites have to protect their stuff), and protecting their religious freedoms, while democrats emphasize the need for more government, which appeals to the city dwellers' higher need for social programs, and police, etc. One could argue how much the Republicans really care about rural people, as they don't have much clout economically, but in the US they do have more influence than, say China, because they do get to vote. Jobs are being lost, and it is getting harder and harder to live in the country,but I'm not sure that the politicians are doing anything for the rural population, besides trying to make sure the government doesn't do anything. I guess that's why you open a puppy farm, if living in the semi-wild is important to you because there are so few jobs left in "real America", but I guess it's not the governments problem, right? Anyway, it just makes more sense to me, now, why there are 2 if not actually 2 and a half (the half being the suburbs), Americas out there, and that there are different needs, not better or worse ones. Unfortunately, in the desire to cater to the different needs, we've polititians and pundits have vilified the sides and exacerbated the natural differences to the point of creating division.

As far a my goals... well, I lost 1 lb. this week. Well, off my goal, but it wasn't from lack of effectiveness from the program, but more due to my not being able to be on the program this weekend. So, I'm going to stick to the "Mom diet" and see how it goes. Also, I'm going to dedicate myself this week to my Health Care blog, and get it up and running.

"It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man."

Well, I lost another half a pound. The 3 apples is still a hard thing to achieve, but I think it is a big part of my losing wieght, so far. Some thoughts on goal-setting. Less than 10% of Americans routinely set goals (beyond the usual New Years Resolution). One of the things that made Ben, Ben, was the fact that he was always coming up with new goals for himself. He was also a social-climber, but he did it in very non-traditional ways, through hard work. In his day, a common tradesman like him would have to "marry up" to improve his status. He was unusual in that it he married a commoner, Deborah Read, who had no dowry and could not help him economically. Interestingly, Deborah was a very hard and cooperative worker, who was just as frugal as he, who was also very good at making money. She seemed to support him in his goals, but socially Ben achieved his eventual status as a gentleman, inspite of his wife's lowly and uneducated ways. Franklin's ability to climb out of his common existence through hard work is also part of the American Dream, but this was not a common occurrance, as marriages for economic and social status were the norm up until very recently, and may still be true. How should I know because I am not a part of the upper class? Interestingly, I found out the other day that my household income is at about the 70th centile in the US. I realize that we are probably in the middle class, although it doesn't feel that way to me. I suppose if I'm not careful or if I put a little effort into it, I could end up in the Upper Class. Pray for me, I know not what I do. Not that I'm against the Upper Class, some of my best friends are wealthy, but I'm so not like Ben, in that I don't want to be there just to be there. Although, there are some appeals to being a man of liesure, which is what Ben became at about my age. Being able to travel, write, have a jacuzzi and tennis court in the back yard...Nonetheless, to quote Ben, "It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man." So, it's off to work I go!

Do good to friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.

So, I lost 1.5 lbs. on the first day of my “mom” diet. I’m trying two significant things from my childhood, I’m trying to eat 3 apples a day, and I’m “eating my liquid” with my meals. When I was growing up, I ate about 3 apples a day, along with other fruits and vegetables, and I’ve seen studies that show that you lose weight in just eating 3 apples a day, which makes sense on a couple of levels. I also was not allowed to drink with my meals, which necessitated eating an apple with my daily P and J sandwich, or having some sort of liquid rich vegetable with dinner. I’ve also read that “eating your liquid”, is a way to lose weight, hence the eating of apples with at least 3 of my meals. I’ll tell you, eating that many apples is no easy feat, and they do seem to fill me up. We’ll see…

Oh, I had a Benjamin Franklin quote that came in handy the other day, “Do good to friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.” I was at a workshop on anger management that taught therapists to teach their clients how to turn the bullies in there lives into buddies. Basically he was teaching how to love, respect, and agree with our enemies, whenever possible, which takes the wind out of any attack or argument. It was an interesting technique that can be used with anybody. I’ve already started teaching my clients how to use it, especially with parents of teens or couples to diffuse an argument. I’m still working on it in my own life with my own wife. It is so hard to find agreement when the other person is just wrong. How dare her! Doesn’t she know that she’s supposed to agree with me?!

Unfortunately, we think that we have to attack our enemies or defend ourselves from them in order to be safe. You see this at the international level as well as the domestic. It is interesting that we started getting more success in Iraq after we started “befriending” the locals, with gifts and money, look how well that also worked with the American Indians, Manhattan for $24, what a deal. Of course, that only worked until the Indians figured out they were being ripped off, and then they wanted it all back. Those Indian Givers! Speaking of domestic matters…. Think about how far we could get if the “two Americas”, would just get along, and maybe even find things to like about each other. It was tragically funny to watch the Republicans in the Congress, try so hard to make sure they were caught liking Obama. Differences should never be an excuse for division.

Big Problems Need Big Solutions

Franklin didn't start out to overthrow the English government. He wasn't a revolutionary so much as he was a "fixer" or reformer. He loved living in London, but he was born in America and loved the opportunities that it afforded him. Yet, he was a pragmatic, more than an idealist, like Jefferson and Adams, so when he saw that remaining with England was no longer practical, he became a revolutionary. He had come to the conclusion that the system needed more than a little tweaking, but rather they needed to start all over.

What can we learn from our American revolution? Well, for one thing, radical change is not such a bad thing, and at time is the necessary change. We elected Obama because he promised change, but this is exactly why many Americans are afraid of him. Humans have always fought change, and let's remember, many colonists supported and fought for the English during the revolutionary war, including Ben's own son. Change is scarey and unpredictable. Take the current Health Care debate, many on the Right belive that the system needs to be tweaked with things like tort reform, while the Left is demanding a radical overhaul. Health Care in America is a big problem, as I am learning about and will soon be writing about in a seperate blog, and something like tort reform will only slightly improve the situation. There needs to be a complete overhaul. Let's also remember that the U.S. also danced around the issue of slavery for the first 70 years of our existence, before Lincoln made a radical decision to outlaw it. Obama needs to be a radical, which I know scares the Right, but I'm not sure his personality, which is very cerebral and calculating, is capable of pushing for the radical shifts necessary in Health Care.

So, what does this have to do with my goal for the week? Well, I've decided that I am, not only going to make minor shifts in my diet, but by going with my childhood diet, it means giving up many of my "comfort foods' like pop and red meat. Also, I've put out the goal to lose 16 lbs. over the next month, starting at 215 and ending at 199, which would break my former record of losing 15 lbs. in a month. Now, 16 lbs. in a month is a lot, but studies have shown that men who make bigger goals around weight are more likely to lose weight than men who say they just want to lose a couple of pounds. Let's face it, we get more motivated by big challenges than small ones. So, I'm off to eat an apple!

Reading is easier than writing

Well, this weeks goal of reading and writing an hour a day, was mixed in its result. I did manage to read an hour daily, some days more, which is definitely an accomplishment. And it was more than just the sports page. One of the truths about Ben is that he would furthered himself well beyond his artisan roots, mostly because he was a dedicated reader who would often stay up all night reading. Now, I didn't do that, but I have been reading up on Health Care, as well as continuing my research on Ben, and I will be writing on Health Care in the coming weeks. I was spotty on the writing as it does take a little more time and preparation, and I didn't want to write just to say I wrote. I think I will continue the daily reading part, but I am going to re-commit to 5 times/week writing. We'll see how that goes.

This week I am going to work on my diet. What does this have to do with Ben, one might ask?
Well, Ben had an interesting relationship with food. When he was young, he definitely "Ate to live, not lived to eat." He prided himself as someone who didn't particularly enjoy food, and at one point in his teens ate basicly broth and bread in order to save money for books. He was an on again off again vegetarian, out of a moral bend of sorts, (his pragmatic morality was consistent in his character). Of course, he grew to be portly in latter life, which was somewhat the result of his station in life, as well as moving from an English diet to a French one.

In my own life, I grew up looking very much like a Sudaneese refugee. I tried to put on wieght, and managed to get up to 155 lbs. by the time I graduated from High School. Now, you've got to know that I am 6' 2", so that was still rather skinny for a guy. Anyway, I finally did fill out to about 185, and for a couple of years, from about 20-28, I looked pretty good, but through the next 17 years I've battled the dreaded "Counselors belly". I've seen it with many a male counselor, you know the belly that looks like you are about 6 months pregnant. I attribute it to the fact that we sit around all day in a slowed sense of being, ( a necessity to effective therapy. Do you want a anxious and figidy therapist?) Also, I learned to eat throughout my day, probably to calm my nerves, (you also don't want a hungry therapist. I tell my clients, if they have to wait while I shouvle down my dinner while they have to wait outside my office for an extra 5 minutes. "I eat so I won't be a grump, and a happy therapist makes for a happier client.")

As I sit here, I don't look six months pregnant, as I have managed to lose about 20 lbs over the last 10 months, but I still look about 3 months pregnant. I would like to lose the last of my "baby" weight, so I have looked to Ben and my roots to see if I can't do so over the next 2 months. Specifically, I am going to return to a diet very similar to the one that my mom gave me growing up. She, like Ben, was a 90% vegetarian, who ate mostly to live, and as a result taught my brother and I this as well. She was such a bland cook, that most meals I simply endured. Also, have you ever tried to gain weight eating fruits and vegetables? I am going to revert back to that diet over the next months, but in a way that would do the scientist Ben proud. I am going to do my childhood diet 2 weeks, then do a high protein diet for 4 weeks, then go back to the childhood one for the last 2 weeks, to see which is most effective, and to create a little friendly internal competition, another Ben trait. Oh, I'm also going to institute 1 1/2 hours of physical activity/day, 2 times the usual, to see if I can't jump start my therapist metabolism. So, here I go, and off to the grocery store to get the proper bland food that would do my mother proud!

Are we a Victim of our History?

"Well, that's the way it's always been done!" I'm not against tradition, but if we aren't careful, we can ignore our history or worse "deify" it and make it into a sacred cow which eventually sends us to hell. We do this in the U.S. by citing the founding fathers and their wisdom to justify the status quot. My current thoughts are on Capitalism. In the U.S., one is accused of being a socialist, communist, or a fascist, and definitely unAmerican, if you say anything negative about Capitalism. The thing is, the founding fathers were progressives. They didn't get bogged down by tradition. Ben Franklin, didn't start out as a revolutionary, but became one when he saw that it was necessary in order to move forward. We should not hold onto the past at the expense of the future. Capitalism started when our economy was quite different than it is today. We did not need the level of restrictions we need today to keep it stable and to keep people in check. One builds a 2 story house very differently from how one builds a 100 story skyscraper. Franklin's formation of the paid night watch in Philadelphia, along with the public library, and community fire department, showed that he was not a victim of history. but a person who created the necessary structures to fit the time.

In the U.S. today, we need to vigorously regulate the financial sector, in order to keep it from sinking the overall economy. When the top 1% make as much as the bottom 95%, the economy can easily topple from being so top-heavy. Additionally, we have historical precedents for the need for regulations, i.e. anti-trust laws, child labor laws, banking regulations, which were all put into place because capitalism was becoming abusive. Unfortunately, we are like an abused woman who can't leave her abusive lover for fear of the unknown. We keep giving Capitalism another chance to hurt us. No, I say! Without the proper boundaries, and I believe some major cognitive therapy, capitalists will continue to abuse. Now is the time for us to all rally and just say 'NO" to further abuse! O.K. that was more Patrick Henry than Ben Franklin, but I hope you get the point.