Family blessings and tragedies.

9-2-09
“The only thing worse than worshiping our heroes is crucifying them when they do not achieve our expectations” In my learning from Ben, I hope that I will do neither. People are far too complex, especially ones worth learning from, as we will see…Oh, one other Bennism that came to me yesterday as I was pondering why I was in such a celebratory mood on such a cloudy day: “In order to love a rainy day, you must first plant a garden.” Once again, give me feedback on both quotes. By the by, I am fine with you giving me feedback and constructive criticism as we go along. Keep in mind these are all “first draft thoughts” that are very much in need of refinement.

So, back to our friend Ben…what is the significance of the 5 generations of last boy in the family? Well, according to birth order theory, the youngest in the family tends to be more introspective, charming, fun, and often given special privileges. These traits were certainly hallmarks with Ben, but some added dimensions were the fact that his dad may have had a special place in his heart for him because he too was the youngest son in his foo, and the fact that he was also the oldest in his particular family configuration. (He was separated by seven years from his next oldest sibling, and had two younger sisters.) Consequently, he had many of the traits of an oldest as well, i.e. strong leadership qualities, high achiever, disciplined, self-starter. As a result, he had an unusual mix of characteristics that summarize as follows: introspective, charming, fun, spoiled, leader, high achiever, disciplined, and self-starter. These traits show up over and over again as you read about Ben.

A factor that is very important from a psychological analysis that historians note, but don’t emphasize, is the number of tragic deaths that occurred right around Ben’s birth. Granted, it was quite common for their to be a high percentage of deaths within families, as Franklin’s dad had already lost his first wife and two infant children, but in the couple of years before Ben’s birth a half brother died at sea, a 16 month old brother died in his father’s bathwater, another baby died, and his paternal grandfather died in England. I don’t care what time you are in, this is going to make an impact on a family and create a significant environment to born into. How I believe this impacted Ben, we will discuss tomorrow.